Finally
It may finally be time to clear the slate
Move to a new home
Start over
Enjoy the novelty of adventure
To somewhere
Where the rain cleans
and is not merely a tease
Where I can afford
To be alone
Really alone
Alone
But not lonely
To take the place of the pervasive
Lonely but not alone
Help me fate
Help me find this place
The right place
Hit and Miss is too long a method
Help me find
Somewhere where I can stop looking
because nowhere would be from me to look
The journey to you has been long and will continue to be
I will always wish you were here to take this journey with me
But that would ruin the point wouldn't it? It would
Be nice
Words to be live by
Be nicer
So where to be nice?
2009-08-21
I really shouldn't feel this way
I really shouldn't feel this way
I'm not lonely - I've got friends
I'm not lonely - but I feel alone
I snuggle with a comforter
Fantasize that the fabric I feel
-is slick, weaty skin
-warming to my touch
-touching to warm mine
The sweet taste of the back of his neck
I can taste it
-Sweet yet salty
-Strong yet mild
So strong is my fantasy that I can taste his neck
I'd think myself sick, but I value the escape of this fantasy
I taste so this fantasized boy can feel better, and not alone
I'm not lonely - but I feel so alone
I'm not lonely - at least in my mind
I'm not lonely - at least with him
He is out there feeling this way (I hope)
Yet how do two souls so far apart
Cure this lonely feeling
And really... just... taste?
I'm not lonely - I've got friends
I'm not lonely - but I feel alone
I snuggle with a comforter
Fantasize that the fabric I feel
-is slick, weaty skin
-warming to my touch
-touching to warm mine
The sweet taste of the back of his neck
I can taste it
-Sweet yet salty
-Strong yet mild
So strong is my fantasy that I can taste his neck
I'd think myself sick, but I value the escape of this fantasy
I taste so this fantasized boy can feel better, and not alone
I'm not lonely - but I feel so alone
I'm not lonely - at least in my mind
I'm not lonely - at least with him
He is out there feeling this way (I hope)
Yet how do two souls so far apart
Cure this lonely feeling
And really... just... taste?
2009-06-23
Have you ever lied down and wondered:...
Have you ever lied down and wondered: What sort of character am I?
Like it really mattered
Do you wish your character to be anything - good - bad - heroic - humorous - friendly - interesting - great?
Then do you do anything about it.
Is it fair to desire to be a character - any character - as long as your character is described as a character.
Like letters on a paper we are all characters waiting for the plot to use another U or I
Is the character we choose paramount on the attention we receive in the sentences we live in? Or is the rarity of a character paramount on the interest it createz
Or is the novel in which we are written omniscient? The rules of the universe so powerful that we have no power to alter our character? For a w is two v's and a t is an l who has yet to be crossed. and an l and a I are often confused for one another. There are lines that are blurred - but is that our doing or the doing of our omnipotent writer? or a mishap or otherwise miracle?
So I beg my own question: What sort of character am I?
And I hope to, at some point, be all of them.
Like it really mattered
Do you wish your character to be anything - good - bad - heroic - humorous - friendly - interesting - great?
Then do you do anything about it.
Is it fair to desire to be a character - any character - as long as your character is described as a character.
Like letters on a paper we are all characters waiting for the plot to use another U or I
Is the character we choose paramount on the attention we receive in the sentences we live in? Or is the rarity of a character paramount on the interest it createz
Or is the novel in which we are written omniscient? The rules of the universe so powerful that we have no power to alter our character? For a w is two v's and a t is an l who has yet to be crossed. and an l and a I are often confused for one another. There are lines that are blurred - but is that our doing or the doing of our omnipotent writer? or a mishap or otherwise miracle?
So I beg my own question: What sort of character am I?
And I hope to, at some point, be all of them.
2009-02-22
It is the mind to make this world
It is the mind to make. I don't believe in a God that is preached. Often Loving, but contradictorily smiting. The flaw in a preacher is HIS justification of how the making of heaven is by a God HE twists to that device to make that heaven suit HIM.
God, to me, is everything. The air I breathe, the body I live in, the family I'm a part of, world I stand on, stars I look upon and the space in between, the thoughts I think, the thoughts everyone thinks, the thoughts we share. In our blood, our tears, our shit, our accomplishments. Blessed Beautiful and the ugly, pious and greedy. Almighty and powerless - always rising to power to yet again fall from our minds.
Ultimately God is those three words: exist, things, and reality (because even that which is unreal is realized)
Yet God is also their opposite
God is he, she, it, that, everyone, nobody. And is the hardest to not pronounce a sir. Only through editions can we label appropriately.
But God is not to be preached to me. I am to procure God for myself.
I have been distracted from my place within, but then again my belief in pre-disposition and eternity drives me to think that I was meant to have that distraction as that was how I was to be... just that. Distracted for my enjoyment, because life is to become more and more difficult. And the difficulty is mine to create.
I have to begin giving back to the God who has spoiled me, for however I was spoiled I'd be made that much kinder and gentler and wise to existence.
The hardest part about God is how hard it is to comprehend that which has so little qualities - yet so many different categories - such a large extension.
I believe in the stars, I believe in this world, I believe in Love, I believe in others, I believe in myself
I believe the sun is both our past and our future - father/son - mother/daughter - one/two/infinity, I believe in the heavens as I can see them in the stars, I believe that Hate can be conquered by the seeds we plant in the earth, I believe in all humanity because what connects it is love, I believe in God because I believe in others.
Looking for something greater than myself is easy, knowing what really exists is not for me to know, but knowing that it does exist brings faith to my heart. I know what is meant by thinking - It may only be an extraction of being, but my thoughts no matter how far imagined are mine and Gods. And I think I'm fine with that.
I have always thought that, felt that, and somehow know that I was meant for something far beyond my realization. I now have faith in that what I am meant to be, think, and say is part of God. I'll let God guide, and hope I make the right steps. For the wrong ones may allow the pain of God's malice override the benevolence and imagination he's beset onto me to use.
We are but the eyes of God who have tried in the mirror to see who we think the almighty is. But the reflection is not God - for we are not God, and only part of. For we know that the reflection is not us - the reflection is light reflected off flesh off a mirror and back to flesh. All part of God, but not who God is. If we place two of these mirrors to face one another and can finally know God, until then our eyes fool us to think God looks as we do, but we can know that God is there, just not know what God is.
This may be my personal proof for God - to realize God is there - combine God within all things - allowed to exist as part-taker of my thoughts and a thought of. It is the mind to make this world - as to reference that which has the largest extension, but smallest comprehension.
---2009 02 22 William Oliver Korteland Boller
God, to me, is everything. The air I breathe, the body I live in, the family I'm a part of, world I stand on, stars I look upon and the space in between, the thoughts I think, the thoughts everyone thinks, the thoughts we share. In our blood, our tears, our shit, our accomplishments. Blessed Beautiful and the ugly, pious and greedy. Almighty and powerless - always rising to power to yet again fall from our minds.
Ultimately God is those three words: exist, things, and reality (because even that which is unreal is realized)
Yet God is also their opposite
God is he, she, it, that, everyone, nobody. And is the hardest to not pronounce a sir. Only through editions can we label appropriately.
But God is not to be preached to me. I am to procure God for myself.
I have been distracted from my place within, but then again my belief in pre-disposition and eternity drives me to think that I was meant to have that distraction as that was how I was to be... just that. Distracted for my enjoyment, because life is to become more and more difficult. And the difficulty is mine to create.
I have to begin giving back to the God who has spoiled me, for however I was spoiled I'd be made that much kinder and gentler and wise to existence.
The hardest part about God is how hard it is to comprehend that which has so little qualities - yet so many different categories - such a large extension.
I believe in the stars, I believe in this world, I believe in Love, I believe in others, I believe in myself
I believe the sun is both our past and our future - father/son - mother/daughter - one/two/infinity, I believe in the heavens as I can see them in the stars, I believe that Hate can be conquered by the seeds we plant in the earth, I believe in all humanity because what connects it is love, I believe in God because I believe in others.
Looking for something greater than myself is easy, knowing what really exists is not for me to know, but knowing that it does exist brings faith to my heart. I know what is meant by thinking - It may only be an extraction of being, but my thoughts no matter how far imagined are mine and Gods. And I think I'm fine with that.
I have always thought that, felt that, and somehow know that I was meant for something far beyond my realization. I now have faith in that what I am meant to be, think, and say is part of God. I'll let God guide, and hope I make the right steps. For the wrong ones may allow the pain of God's malice override the benevolence and imagination he's beset onto me to use.
We are but the eyes of God who have tried in the mirror to see who we think the almighty is. But the reflection is not God - for we are not God, and only part of. For we know that the reflection is not us - the reflection is light reflected off flesh off a mirror and back to flesh. All part of God, but not who God is. If we place two of these mirrors to face one another and can finally know God, until then our eyes fool us to think God looks as we do, but we can know that God is there, just not know what God is.
This may be my personal proof for God - to realize God is there - combine God within all things - allowed to exist as part-taker of my thoughts and a thought of. It is the mind to make this world - as to reference that which has the largest extension, but smallest comprehension.
---2009 02 22 William Oliver Korteland Boller
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
