I really shouldn't feel this way

I really shouldn't feel this way
I'm not lonely - I've got friends
I'm not lonely - but I feel alone
I snuggle with a comforter
Fantasize that the fabric I feel
-is slick, weaty skin
-warming to my touch
-touching to warm mine
The sweet taste of the back of his neck
I can taste it
-Sweet yet salty
-Strong yet mild
So strong is my fantasy that I can taste his neck
I'd think myself sick, but I value the escape of this fantasy
I taste so this fantasized boy can feel better, and not alone
I'm not lonely - but I feel so alone
I'm not lonely - at least in my mind
I'm not lonely - at least with him

He is out there feeling this way (I hope)
Yet how do two souls so far apart
Cure this lonely feeling
And really... just... taste?